don't ask me, because i won't.

i don't want to know anyone right now, i'm busy trying to know myself. and i don't want to give a fuck. i don't want any grief. i don't want rememberance. i want a clean slate where, this time, i get to draw up all the official-looking lines. i want relationships that don't mean a thing. i want sex. and i want it with people that i won't ever see again. i want drugs and the chance of overdose. i want alcohol and cigarettes. i want red meat and rock'n'roll. i want to call all my old and worn-out friends, people that i probably shouldn't be talking to, so that i can invite them to pollute my mind. i want to forgoe all responsibility. i want selfishness. i want humiliation. because i don't know this girl who stole my name and i want to strip her down. i want to make you hate her. because i am not who you think i am. can you see how this might be a problem?

i leave in four days. i'm not going to want to come back.