i'm fucking up. i missed a shift at work yesterday because i thought i had it off. i was an hour late for my shift this morning because i thought i started at nine but instead of working i was sent home. i've been skipping out on my volunteer work and suffering the guilt over that on an empty stomach. i think my brother's a crack addict. i've been playing my mother's games and allowing her to make me feel worthless and unwanted. i've been allowing her to make me feel uncapable and powerless. i've been sleeping ten hours a night and waking up exhausted. i am so fucking drained.

i feel like "fuck you."