i think i have a right not to like certain people. and given certain circumstances do i even have to justify it? i mean it's not like it's ever a judgement passed on someone i hardly know. i feel guilty nonetheless. still it's always a personal opinion [because that's exactly what it is - personal.] based on a person's actions over an extended period of time. and furthermore i don't even feel like i have to go out of my way to pussy-foot around said person[s]. if i don't like someone i'm not going to pretend i do. i will always act towards them in a civil manner but i'm not going to fawn in their presence. and i don't think any person in their right mind would want me to. what worse than thinking you're liked by a group of people only to discover you're investing time and attention into a lost cause - because these people are never going to like you no matter how much you think you can change. i think it's much easier to take a person's dislike when it isn't hidden in dishonesty. because yes - i don't like when people don't like me. but even more i don't like people who waste my time.

there are some things i cannot tolerate in others. and yes i understand it's because i do not tolerate such things in me. but i cannot tolerate dishonesty. it holds the intention of manipulating another human being - telling false truths or witholding information to acheive a desired - and often selfish - end. and i cannot tolerate selfishness. i do believe a person should first think of how they can give to themselves. and that this is not being selfish. that this is grasping the understanding that one must first give to themselves before they can give to another. but if giving to one's self does not make that simple and singular leap into giving unto another - then what is the fucking use of existing?

nobody is an island.

because people - all we have is ourselves. and when you find yourself you realize all we have is each other. the beauty of relationship is that we experience ourselves through others every day. how will you choose to experience yourself today?

[today i am forgiveness. today i am compassion. today i am acceptance.]

today i am love.