[i'm so young. i'm practically a baby.]

relate it back to sex. people understand sex.

if i were a porn. i would be one of those $2.99 amateur porns that gross old perverted men sell at garage sales. i have never actually seen gross old perverted men sell amateur porn at garage sales but if they did i would be the $2.99 one.

and i would be two-ninety-nine because all the stars in my porn movie wouldn't know what to do. they probably wouldn't even be doing much of anything. in fact it couldn't even technically be called a porn. it would be titled something like "betty does the beach." and it would show 'betty' walking along the ocean. maybe her brightly colored summer dress would fall off her shoulder a bit. you would see the wet sand pushing up between her toes. maybe a close-up of her arm brushing against her breast and then... roll credits.

[compared to what i will be, i am nothing.]

maybe the point i'm trying to make, in a not so clear fashion, is that i don't think i've experienced much of anything. but i know i'll never be a porn.

i think i could pull off quite grandly a kama sutra (sp?) video. and i'd know all 364 positions including such favorites as "laughing monkey." and "startled tree-frog." and i'd demonstrate them to everyone. i'd show people how to attain climaxes without so much as touching themselves. i'd preach free love. and all the people in my movie would have group sex and there would be no jealousy. and there would be no envy because everybody would be entitled to what everybody else has. hmmm.

[sometimes i'm such a hippie.]