[the last couple of weeks have been very beneficial.]

sometimes knowing what you don't want is the quickest route to discovering what you do. sometimes certain people are insightful enough to be in a state of constant awareness regarding what they want. i think this is mainly the concept of obsessing over a positive thought until that thought manifests itself into the physical world. i understand the illusion of relativity. with that said : i will be moving in a new direction fairly quickly. i think i’m inviting you to observe the final stages of a transformation that has been seeping into me for the last three years. slowly gaining in speed and intensity, respectively. i am a bundle of raw, unabashed energy. i will be aiming high.

[you think i'm amazing now? you don't know the half of it. i love proving myself when the need for proof is no longer required.]

i have an extremely high opinion of myself. it is entirely separate from my ego. my understanding of ego is that it is fed completely by forces outside myself. i think i'm pretty fucking incredible and that comes from an inner knowing. it was an unbelievable notion until i eventually came up with it on my own - despite the fact that people have been suggesting this to me for quite some time now. hell - let's try my whole life. but the one thing that you should know about me is that i won't ever take anybody else's word for it. i will touch the hot burner after you tell me not to, and if i didn't get enough of a dosage to fully draw a clear understanding of the nature of heated metal coil pushed up against delicate flesh i will go back and fucking do it again. this is the highest commitment i have ever made to myself. the promise of living. not existing. living. actually experiencing life versus attempting to explain and understand it. a little like sex without the condom.

[i refuse to buffer it all up.]

he's right : i am golden. and so is he. but so is everybody. i think i'm experiencing a little bit of glare.

[and god knows, you can only stand the sun for so long.]